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Sher's Blog Archive Hits This is What Treason Really Looks Like, Ann White House Prayer Meetings as a Substitute for Ethical Behavior This Ain't Your Grandma's Party! Sher's Ratios: Sex to Scandal and Mischief to Money Fourth Grade Economics Midterm My Pitch to the Club for Growth
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The Missing Third Letter of St. Peter (Following are excerpts from the recently discovered scripture. This passage has been embraced by political Christian fundamentalists to refute arguments from liberal theologians that Christ’s rejection in the wilderness of Satan’s empty promise of power over the world’s kingdoms is a clear command to forswear lust for civil power.) Simon Peter, apostle of Jesus Christ. May the grace and peace of Jesus our lord be with you. Across the span of all these years spreading the good news here in Rome, the very heart of the pagan empire, I now reflect, my brethren in Christ, on whether we could be more effective in saving souls. Maybe we need more than witness and prayer. We have made progress in bringing gentiles to Christ, and I’m optimistic about our long term prospects under the current approach, but maybe there’s a short cut that will get us there faster. Here’s the problem: however much we love the province of our birth, the Romans mock God’s chosen Judean people as “hicks from the sticks,” if they’re not just ignoring us outright. Meanwhile they just go on practicing their disgusting pagan practices. We need to step things up a notch. I keep thinking about how things went down in Jerusalem all those years ago. We’ve got the same problem as Caiaphas and the Sanhedrin. They solved their problem by getting the civil authorities on their side. It wasn’t hard – all it took was a loud crowd in the public square. We need to do the same here. In Rome the key to getting what you want is control of the mob. The civil authorities keep them in line with bread and circuses. We need to find some issues that get the mob energized to demand the changes we want. First, we need to get all the congregations up to speed on political power 101. We need to get them to devote their sermons to political issues that will work for us. For example, we need to get them energized about how the snooty elite of Rome are looking down on them. Then we need to find some good wedge issues - the pressure points that will get the Roman mob moving at our command. Here’s a good one – we get the faithful really worked up about how the elites want to undermine cherished Roman institutions. Starting next Sunday, let’s get the word out that Roman liberals want to do away with the wholesome sporting events at the heart of Roman culture. Imagine if the working people of Rome no longer could enjoy these weekly celebrations of strength and courage? How could you bring children up in such an environment? Then we spread out into all the hot button political issues - taxes, medicine, pride at the successes of the Legion in expanding the Empire – all the things that appeal to your average Roman. Take it from me - Jesus will be proud! |
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