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The Origin of the Term
Compassionate Conservatism
This story, to the best of our knowledge, is not actually based on any factual
events. It is thus offered in the spirit of those famous “Cadillac Welfare
Queen” anecdotes from the 1980s, compelling as an exercise in illustration,
believable to many, but ultimately totally made up. However, the term had to
come from somewhere, so could this really be all that far off the mark?
Scene: Two-Partner Dallas advertising agency, late 20th Century.
Hey guy, got a lead on a possible new gig! That ball team owner we worked with a
couple of years ago on filling his skyboxes is looking to move into politics and
needs a tagline. We come up with a good one, it’s gonna be a lotta business if
he goes anywhere. His resume isn’t very impressive but his pedigree sure is!
Ok, cool. Game on! First order of business: what’s he looking for?
Well, this is politics, after all. Pretty much the same approach as any other
product. Find a theme that keeps the positives high and the negatives low.
Strict adherence to reality not much of a factor. Something new on this one,
though. He wants to keep his Hard Right constituencies happy – they have the
dough and the muscle - while being as appealing as possible to the great mass of
voters.
Whoa! A suicide mission!
Hey, don’t think of it as a problem, think of it as an opportunity!
OK, OK. Allright, let’s figure out what we have to work with. What did he say
about his political positions?
Nothing very exciting there. Pretty far to the right, the kind of stuff you’d
expect to keep the fat-cats and true believers ecstatic. His big supporters are
some of our favorite people: the whale-nukers, the born-again-and-you-should-be-toos,
the cold-dead-hands gun crowd, the hate-government-except-for-my-fat-contract
boys, the it’s-the-peoples-money flat taxers. The usual cream of Dallas society.
Great! He hangs around with those wackos and we’re supposed to make him look
good to soccer moms and Joe Sixpack? I mean we’ve done plenty of political work
before. It’s no problem coming up with mass market soft focus flag-waving
campaigns. But trying to keep the red meat crowd happy too? Get real!
Hey, so we’re pioneers. That’s how you end up with all the real estate!
Yeah, after you pick the arrows out of your back.
(A day passes. A pile of wadded up papers starts to form on the floor).
Ok, so we’ve got to do something new here. OK, here’s something new. What if we
turned the whole thing around. Instead of being stealthy about right-wing
inclinations, we put it right out there in your face. “We’re fascists and we
like it.” A Jersey kind of thing. You know, “Youse gotta problem wid dat?”
We’ll, the wackos’d eat it up but it would scare off the chicks and the
minorities. That’s most of the population, in case you hadn’t noticed.
Interesting idea though. It might be tough for a politician, but I wonder if it
could work for, say, a media type. Something to think about.
Well, think about it after we come up with something for our boy!
(Several more days and a larger pile of wadded up papers later).
Ok, let’s review the bidding. The problem is that the Right Wing has a
reputation as a bunch of obnoxious assholes, behavior that they do indeed
demonstrate in spades when their pols don’t toe the line. It’s like trying to
keep Hitler and the Poles happy at the same time!
OK, Mr. History Major! Well, I studied some history too, and it sounds like that
whole Solidarity thing. You know, Alexander whatshisname? Dubcek. The people
loved his stuff even though he was still a Communist, but to paraphrase what
they say in England, Brezhnev was not amused.
Actually Solidarity was Poland. Dubcek was Prague Spring. I’m still impressed,
though. It really illustrates the problem. It’s like that great line from The
Karate Kid. “Do karate yes, or do karate no. In the middle, squished like
grape!” And getting squished like grape is where we seem to be heading!
Now that we’re talking about communists and getting squished like grape, what
about that Gorbachev guy? He seemed to have a flair for marketing. Probably been
in advertising if he’d lived here. Everybody loved him, right up to the point
his country started falling apart. Now that’s one big squished grape! It still
was a pretty good trick, though, don’t you think? What’s that slogan he uses?
You mean perestroika? Oh yeah, that would work great for an ex-baseball team
owner from Texas!
No, it was something else. I remember the first time I heard it. It sort of set
me back because it seemed like an oxymoron, coming from the folks that brought
you Stalin.
I know what you mean, something like “Communism with a human face.” Yep, a good
tagline. It’s a miracle they came up with that one without an ad agency!
What do you think of this idea? We use a little of that in-your-face thing, come
right out and say “conservative.” I know, I know, that’s supposed to be the kiss
of death with the center, but work with me on this, OK? I mean, everyone loves
Ronnie, and you know how far out on the right he is. He just knows how to soften
things up. Something like “Conservatism with a Human Face.”
Well, obviously we can’t use the same phrase as the head of the Evil Empire, but
I think you’re onto something. I don’t know, though. Do you really think we can
get away with putting “conservatism” and some word like “nice” in the same
tagline without getting laughed out of town? And won’t that piss off the fringe?
Aren’t these the people who think that not being nice in defense of their
particular obsession is a virtue?
Hmmm. You know, I’m thinking about something I heard once. “Every guy thinks
he’s a good driver.” No matter how many times they’ve smashed up the car, they
still think it was unavoidable circumstances. No, I haven’t gone into left
field. Here’s what I’m thinking. Even the most open-minded centrist is probably
conservative about something. If you’ve got a daughter you don’t want her going
off the deep end, even if you’re otherwise a real live-and-let-live kind of guy.
And even the most rabid conservative still probably thinks of himself, down
deep, as a warm human being in a cold, hard world. Put the two ideas together
and you might be able to get not a subtraction but a big addition. Capital-C
Conservatives would like that he comes right out and calls himself one, and they
might not be too put off if he softens it as long as it’s done in a Ronnie
Reagan warm and folksy kind of way. The center might be startled by the
“conservative” part, but might be OK if it’s followed by something they can
relate to. It’ll be like “well, my granddad was conservative about spending, and
we still loved him.” Whatever the softener is, though, it can’t be too liberal.
That’s the rub.
Wow, great stuff. I see where you’re going. Same problem, though. What “human
face” words would conservatives would not equate with Big Government? I mean,
all the do-gooder words were taken with the New Deal, Fair Deal, and Great
Society. And, may I remind you that they were Liberal programs? “Conservatism
with an open hand” isn’t going to cut it with the fringe. Unless of course that
open hand has something in it for them! (Laughs).
Right. Tough one. Oo! Oo! I got it! We need a feeling word, not a doing word. I
mean, like when you felt bad all those starving kids in China when we were
growing up, but nobody really expected you to actually do anything about it,
other than eating your own food. There’s a good conservative value!
Now we’re cooking! Ok, “Conservative but Human?” Sounds like you’re trying to
convince someone you’re not an alien. “Conservative but Welcoming?
Anti-immigration types’ll hate that one! Gracious? Too feminine. Responsive? Too
at your service. Sociable? Affable? I think we’re losing it.
No! Stay with it. I think we’re on to something. We just need to think of a good
feeling that everyone thinks they have in spades that doesn’t require them to
feel guilty for not doing anything about it.
(Several hours and many pages of the thesaurus later).
Man, we’re getting nowhere. How do you have feelings about something without
having some kind of obligation, ala some federal program the Right will hate?
You know, that sort of reminds me of Sunday school. We used to talk about God
looking down on us sinners, loving us anyway, but self-constrained from doing
any Old Testament kind of thing because of free will and such.
The born-agains will love it! Good stuff! OK, what kinds of feelings does God
have? We’re in the wrong book. Put away that thesaurus and get Bartlett’s! It’s
got a long section of Biblical phrases.
OK, here it is. Let’s look up God. Look at all those listings! Looking for
emotions. Starting at the top, Old Testament. Wow, we got some serious smiting
here! OK, New Testament. This looks better. Merciful? Nope, the give-em-the-chair
types won’t buy that. Ditto for forgiving. Healing? Nope – they’d think they’d
have to beef up Medicare. This is like a needle in a haystack!
Keep at it. I think we’re onto something.
Hey, here’s something. The parable of the Good Samaritan. “A certain
Samaritan…had compassion on him.”
“Compassion.” Hmmm. I don’t know. Isn’t that the story where some foreigner
helped out when others of his own nation didn’t? I don’t think that fits, do
you? I mean, it has not just one but two bad words: “foreign” and “help.” Not to
mention that it’s ultimately about a Jewish guy being saved by a Palestinian.
The Right would never go for a word attached to a thought like that, especially
the Apocalypse Now types.
Don’t forget, though, that we’re talking about God’s emotions, not people’s. God
can feel compassion without doing anything about it and everyone still loves
Him.
Maybe. “Conservative” and “Compassion” in the same sentence, though. Isn’t that
really an oxymoron? I mean, conservatism is all about “just say no,” isn’t it?
Hey, it’s like we were saying before! Everyone thinks of themselves as
compassionate. You can feel compassionate for those starving kids in China, but
there’s just no way to actually do anything about it. Even the most greedy
monopolist is capable of philanthropy, as long as he gets to call the shots on
what worthy cause gets his cash. That still counts as compassion, doesn’t it?
I don’t know. Maybe we should check out all the biblical references on
compassion in Bartlett’s.
OK. We got three. We already found the Good Samaritan. Here’s another. Apocrapha
2:11. “For the Lord is full of compassion and mercy, long-suffering, and very
pitiful, and forgiveth sins, and saveth in times of affliction.” Stop acting
like you just got shot! OK, here’s my take. The basic emotion here is
compassion, and the other stuff is optional for Him.
That seems like a stretch to me. I mean, do you really think the Right Wing sees
themselves as merciful, long-suffering, forgiving, and saving? No way! I’ll give
you “very pitiful” though! (Laughs) What’s next?
OK, John 3:17. “Whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need,
and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God
in him?” Oo. That’s bad. It’s the perfect description of the man’s constituency!
I think we’re out of the box.
Yeah, too bad. I thought we had something good there. OK, what now?
Maybe we should go back to the drawing board, take out the “conservatism” part,
and give another look through our standard soft-focus politician words.
(A week and a bigger pile later).
OK, its time for the pitch and we got a dry hole. Should we just bag it?
No way! We’ve put way too much into this. Here’s what I think. I think we got
too literal with that whole compassionate conservatism thing. I mean, this is
marketing, right? Just because we used the Bible to dig it out, and every
reference in the Bible was scornful of compassion without action, doesn’t mean
that anyone would necessarily call us on it. I mean the Religious Right already
believes they’re God’s chosen (no offense, buddy), and they’re not going to blow
the whistle. And if not them, who else? Hey, you can justify anything in the
Bible; the religious fringe does it every day, and for some pretty amazing
political positions.
I guess you’re right. It’s our best shot. Let’s pitch it.
(Two weeks later).
Hey, I just heard from the man. It’s a go!
(Several hours of revelry!)
(Over champagne). His political advisor, yeah the one he calls Boy Genius, he
jumped on it right away. Junior was concerned that the “compassionate” part
would commit him to compassionate acts, but BG didn’t see it that way. The focus
group was the clincher. They reacted like we had originally thought. No matter
what their politics, they thought of themselves as basically compassionate, and
with conservative tendencies in at least some areas. Put them together and it’s
something for everyone! Once it was clear that Boy Genius and the focus group
were in sync, the man was 100% on board. You know he’s always been pretty
practical about those things.
We’ve struck gold here! On to Austin!
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