Feature of the Week
This week let’s spotlight the Great Seals. We use this great symbol of our nation as the wallpaper for the site not in the spirit of jingoism but because it is the perfect representation of the moderate approach to politics. Can we all agree that moderation is something that the world needs now? Not for just some but for everyone?

12.04.04 @ 06:37 PM EDT [link]

OK, We Lied!
Actually, that’s a bit harsh. We merely misspoke in saying that SherWright.com would be returning to purely original content today. We certainly planned to, and have some good stuff well in hand. However, an irresistible opportunity presented itself. In addition, somebody needs to admit it when results don’t match earlier assertions. You certainly can’t expect anything like that from the GOP! And, unfortunately, the opposition is in no position to produce any results to apologize for. Thus, in the interest of restoring balance, we’re looking for opportunities to admit our fallibility (alas, so much to admit.) Anyway, the irresistible opportunity that lured us into changing plans is that we’ve been alerted to another Great Work along the same lines as our own compendium of the Dittohead language. It’s a “Republican Dictionary” at TheNation.com. Mastering Dittohead is of such importance to the nation that we welcome The Nation to the endeavor!

12.03.04 @ 10:55 PM EDT [link]

Let’s Take a Movie Break!
Talking with Dittoheads can be exhausting! Let’s take a break from our “How to Talk to a Dittohead (If You Must)” series to watch my pick for Academy Award for Best Short Web Feature With Snips From Movies. link. As our beloved regular visitors already know, it’s not a core feature of this site’s value proposition to aggregate comedic content on other sites. There are already many sites that try to be “one stop shopping,” whose content is largely defined as links to other sites. That’s a noble calling, but it’s not really us. We see our purpose as content origination rather than content aggregation. Coming up with new stuff is a dirty and lonely job, but someone’s got to do it! So just because you think that today’s link is really hilarious (which it is!), don’t come back tomorrow to see others. Come back, but for SherWright’s own unique features!

12.02.04 @ 08:16 PM EDT [link]

How to Talk to a Dittohead about Abortion
If you’ve been successful so far in sticking knives into Dittohead arguments about Iraq and Moral Values using the natural inconsistencies and pretensions of their bizarre worldview, they will likely, in desperation, play the abortion card. Nobody other than a Dittohead would bring up this topic in family conversation. Dittoheads see playing the abortion card as their nuclear option, the equivalent of final defensive fire when an army platoon is being overrun. You should welcome the abortion gambit! View it as the opportunity to launch a devastating counterattack to a first strike that your opponent will mistakenly believe to be irresistible. Indeed, their overconfidence in “the overwhelming moral superiority” of their position will leave them highly vulnerable. So here’s how it will likely go down. Your Dittohead party guest will launch with a phrase along the lines of “it’s like the holocaust all over again.” Your innocuous answer should be “are you aware that many forms of contraception work by preventing a fertilized egg from implanting? If, as you’re saying, life begins at fertilization, contraception is a far greater evil, since there are thousands and thousands of non-implantations for every abortion. Are you advocating banning contraception?” Now that you’ve got them back on their heels, move to turn the tables. “Anti-abortion politicians want to imprison and even execute desperate women and their doctors. Is that really what you want?” Then, while they’re quibbling and qualifying, come back with “and isn’t this all about freedom? I thought conservatives support freedom so passionately that you want to go to war to bring it to other countries. Shouldn’t people who don’t interpret scriptures the exact same way you do to have the freedom to decide for themselves what is moral? If you truly had confidence in your beliefs, shouldn’t you be trying to convince them that they should live their lives by these beliefs, rather than trying to get cops and judges to lock them up? Doesn’t it show a very basic form of insecurity when you have to turn to civil power rather relying on prayer and witness? And isn’t turning to the civil authorities exactly what the High Priests did to shut Jesus up when too many people were listening to him? And isn’t that why the Gospels describe lust for civil authority as a temptation of Satan? And just who is telling you that the US should be creating entirely new classes of criminals, anyway? I’ll tell you who I think it is!”
12.01.04 @ 08:03 PM EDT [link]

How to Talk to a Dittohead about Moral Values
Talking about Morality is where you most need to remember Ann Coulter’s advice in her new book How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): “don't be defensive.” The temptation is clear – Dittoheads have such confidence in the moral superiority of their positions that their smugness can be intimidating. Take a lesson from the classic book on giving a presentation, “I see You Naked.” The thesis of this indispensable reference for public speakers is that if you can imagine your audience in their underwear, you won’t be intimidated by them. You can apply this idea to holiday conversations with Dittohead family members by remembering that Dittohead positions are, at their core, not based on morality but instead on naked greed and lust for power. This blog has allocated a substantial word count making this argument, but don’t try to play back these arguments at length. You’ll just lose them, poor dears. Instead, go right to the core of the issue: the glaring core of immorality in Dittohead fiscal policy. Fiscal policy – money – is where the rubber meets the road for any belief system. It’s fine to talk about attitudes and intentions, but money is where someone’s mouth really is. To quote the Good Book, “where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” The most apparent, tangible manifestation of Dittohead fiscal policy is massive, insane levels of borrowing. Not even a Dittohead can deny that most of the “pain” of a national debt north of $7 Trillion will be borne by those not of voting age when it was run up. It’s future generations that will get to pony up at least four years worth of extra taxes to pay off our borrowing, and that doesn’t count interest. Dittoheads sure don’t plan to have any role in paying it back! The national debt run up during Dittohead administrations thus represents what a Karate sensei calls a pressure point, a place to punch and kick with maximum force. Don’t hold back! They wouldn’t if the situation was reversed and you were trying to defend a blatantly corrupt policy. And there are so many ways you can stick the knife into debt immorality! Here’s an angle: “Deficits as a colossal heist that make the Sopranos’ biggest score look like the morning take from a schoolyard lunch money scam.” If they go into denial, pursue relentlessly! Keep repeating the following phrase: “Look, just explain where I’m wrong on this.” Before you know it they’ll be changing the subject, the closest thing to an admission of defeat you’ll ever get from them. Savor the triumph!
11.30.04 @ 08:13 PM EDT [link]

How to Talk to a Dittohead about Iraq
Continuing our series on holiday family get-together-stand-around-with-the-guys-with-a-glass-of-wine conversations on politics with Dittohead relations, let’s cover the second most frequent topic – Iraq, specifically the myriad reasons that Dittoheads offer as irrefutable grounds for America’s invasion. BTW, when I say “second most frequent topic,” that’s my estimate based on my theoretical understanding of Dittoheads from having listened to them on the Rush show, not necessarily from observation of actual Dittohead relatives in action at holiday parties. Just to clear that up. Anyway, should the topic of Iraq come up with a Dittohead, you need to copy the example of Bush’s invasion in the first place – show absolute confidence. Dittoheads have uncanny sensitivity to uncertainty, interpret it as surrender, and have an instinct to immediately begin feeding. Also, keep things very simple (again just like Bush) even at the cost of nuance. Dittoheads interpret nuance as surrender and… well, you know the rest. One strategy you might consider is to laugh uncontrollably whenever they use the word “terrorist” in relation to Iraq. Fortunately, that’s easy to do, considering that Saddam had absolutely no interest in helping Al Qaeda, who hated his guts. Similarly, use the Big Laugh when a Dittohead calls an Iraqi insurgent a “terrorist.” Try asking whether they have seen the movie Red Dawn. (This is a rhetorical question, since every Dittohead has worn out at least one cassette in repeated viewings). They likely won’t understand the connection, so be patient and very, very simple. Ask what they would do if a non-Christian country invaded the US (even a US headed by a Liberal like Clinton – either one). Then ask if the announcement of elections would cause them to turn in their guns to the foreign occupier. They probably still haven’t gotten it, so gently make the connection to the point of view of insurgent Iraqis. Then do the Big Laugh! Don’t think that you can only use the Big Laugh once. After all, Bush has cited many reasons for invading Iraq, all diligently parroted by Dittoheads, and all equally deserving of the Big Laugh Treatment (BLT). So, as an exercise, practice your Big Laugh delivery for each of the following invasion rationales: 1) Oil for Food. 2) Saddam was a dictator. 3) Liberal media ignoring our successes. 4) WMD. For extra credit, try the Extra Big Laugh (XBL) for: 5) Fighting them there so we don’t have to fight them here!
11.29.04 @ 08:06 PM EDT [link]

How to Talk to a Dittohead about Loving America
This is the first in our series of how to deal with jabs from Dittohead relatives delivered across the holiday table. As I suspected, this isn’t just a theoretical problem. Remember when I said I was just guessing that this would be something moderates and liberals would face at family get-togethers? Far be it for me to tar any of my relatives - even the in-laws - as Dittoheads. For one thing, they might happen to visit the site! Theoretically, that is, if I had Dittoheads in the family. Apparently Maureen Dowd of the NY Times has the problem in reality and in spades, as evidenced by her reprinting of a thoroughly obnoxious email sent around by her gloating brother after the election. Indeed, he followed Ann Coulter’s advice to the T’s: “don't be defensive, always outrage the enemy, and never apologize to, compliment, or show graciousness.” While turnabout is always fair play, I’m won’t be going out of my way to stick it back to those that stick first. On the other hand, maybe it’s a good life lesson for them. Yeah – that’s the ticket! Anyway, let’s get right to business of dealing with the lowest of the low blows a Dittohead relative might fling, the dig heard most often on the Rush show: “Liberals want America to fail in Iraq.” This of course is a topical version of the incessant Dittohead accusation that “Liberals hate America.” Here’s a strategy for playing it. Say “George (or whomever), you’re my (fill in relationship here) and I love you dearly, but imagine for the sake of argument that you really screwed up and were facing a lawsuit that could put a big dent in your kid’s inheritance, let alone their prospects for a college education. Would I want you to evade the consequences of your bad judgment? Absolutely! Would I be surprised if you didn’t? Nope. Would I be just a little conflicted if your bad judgment were rewarded? Maybe so. But would I take any pleasure if you took the hit you were asking for? Quite the contrary, if only because of Laura (or whomever) and the kids.” Then, if George has been particularly obnoxious, you might add the following, in the spirit of Annie C: “And by the way, George (or whomever), I love my country just fine, thank you very much, and if you don’t think so you can take that turkey leg over there and (fill in your personalized retort)!
11.28.04 @ 07:46 PM EDT [link]