Family Conversation - I
“Hello, Son.” “Greetings, Father. Hallowed be Thy name. How sits Creation?” “Don’t get me started! I’m pretty peeved, Son, since you ask! They’ve been acting lately like they own the place! It’s bad enough that they’re trashing high, low, and middle. I made Gaia to take care of herself in her own time, although they’re not going to be too happy with how she does it. What really ticks me off is they’re not even giving Me the respect I’m due as Creator! They’re taking the lazy way our by saying that My whole setup works by magic, with me running around behind the scenes pulling the levers. Or even worse, that I just beamed them all down like yesterday! I go to the trouble to create a vast internally-consistent universe, sweating all the details, and do they bother even looking at it? N-o-o-o-o-o! It’s just so much easier to sit back and say ‘God’s making it all happen.’ A pretty convenient attitude if you’re not up for a little study! The worst of it is that when I get a few who devote their lives to carefully inventorying what I did, working out how it all fits together, they’re on the receiving end of shots from my supposed “worshipers.” I say that if someone worships Me, they should show some basic respect for what I created and for the people who really care about how it all works! Look, I create dinosaurs to show that bad things can happen to good species, with bones lying all over the place so maybe they don’t get uppity, and what do they say? ‘Intelligent design.’ OK, maybe I did design it all, but concluding this without even looking at what I did is taking the easy way out. I worked hard so that nobody could lift a lazy finger and say, ‘Yep, has to be God.’ I worked hard so that it would be impossible to prove that it had to be Me! Faith has no value if nature is a big neon sign flashing “God…God…God.” And how in Creation are they going to keep it all up if they don’t have a clue how it works? I mean, I spelled out perfectly clearly that the Earth is Mine and people are the stewards. Tell me, and you know this, Son, how can you be a good shepherd if you know zilch about sheep? It’s laziness, that’s what it is. Laziness and greed. They don’t want to hear that taking care of My legacy requires actual work! They’re too busy building up rusty, moth-eaten treasures! But look at Me, I’m going on and on! So, Son, how is Your Church?” “Speak of the Devil, Father! Literally! Let me tell You about it.”
to be continued…
05.21.05 @ 08:17 PM EDT [link]

Feature of the Week
Two classic journal entries from almost two years ago were about to be clobbered by my recycling blog tool, so I gave them a dedicated page Sher’s Ratios. Also, don’t forget to come back tomorrow for Sher’s 600th word. Sign the guestbook while you’re at it! It was the only direct reader feedback link I can to leave open, considering that open comment links accumulate incrustations of from lowlife link hustlers. If it's there for you to use, doesn’t that just make you itch to use it?!
05.20.05 @ 10:57 PM EDT [link]

Mr. Gung Ho Visits Zoom U
You have to wonder what the heck’s going on with the Zoomies! US Service Academy graduates have a natural instinct to hang together (beyond the lighthearted Beat Navy! spirit of competition), but the culture at Zoom U in Colorado Springs has lately been coming across as seriously dysfunctional! A couple of years ago it was that harassment/predation thing with women cadets. Considering that my niece is at a service academy, this is an issue that hits close to home! Most recently it was harassment of Air Force Academy cadets showing an improper degree of Christian piety by opting out of evening chapel services. Here’s some free advice for my contemporaries running the show at the US Air Force Academy. If you want to promote Christian belief, back off of making it pseudo-mandatory! Bad things happen when people are forced into religious observance. I know this because chapel attendance was mandatory at West Point when I was there. For the first three years I didn’t mind, since I would have gone anyway. Let’s talk about why I had an issue in the fourth year in a minute. One thing that was pretty obvious about the situation was that cadets started equating chapel with the most disagreeable aspects of cadet life. For example, one particularly disagreeable aspect of cadet life was getting up early in Saturday AM, preparing your room for inspection, running off to a full morning of classes, and running back to change into full dress gray for inspection in ranks immediately followed by parading on the Plain. At least the Corps of Cadets didn’t parade in winter! With mandatory services, though, cadets had to get up early on Sunday, even in winter, had to again don full dress gray under the heaviest woolen cloak ever made, and march uphill to the chapel. Now consider some of the logistics behind a mandatory chapel policy. There were only three chapel buildings, so each cadet had to annually choose which to attend: Protestant, Roman Catholic, or Jewish. If you were, say, Mormon, you probably picked Protestant. If you were Greek Orthodox, you probably picked Catholic. If you were Buddhist or a non-believer, you flipped a coin. One of my classmates rotated between the choices, ending up one year as the ranking cadet in the Jewish chapel squad, a role traditionally dubbed “King of the Jews.” The arbitrary nature of it all caused Chapel to be seen as yet another harassment component of the cadet experience. Consider “I’m Mister Gung Ho,” sung sotto voce in particularly unpleasant marches (to the tune of the Official West Point March, affectionately known to every member of the Long Gray Line as “The Thumper.”) Here are the lyrics: “I’m Mr. Gung Ho/I double time wherever I go/I shine my B-plate up/Write my roommate up/I go to chapel twice on Sunday.” Anyway, I really got peeved Firstie (Senior) year during Constitutional Law class. I remember wandering through the halls in shock after reading the First Amendment Establishment of Religion chapter, since it was blatantly obvious that mandatory chapel was unconstitutional. And so it was ruled a few years after I graduated. I figured that if a country is going to all that trouble to have a Constitution and to have its soldiers swear “truth faith allegiance” to it, the Officer Corps might as well break down and play along with what it says. So here is Air Force sending a message to its future officers that adherence to the Constitution is optional. Is that really the kind of training experience we want our tax dollars funding?
05.19.05 @ 08:48 PM EDT [link]

Elegant Night Out
Scene: Husband and wife out to celebrate her birthday. “You’ll love this place, Honey. We took some clients there last year and it was to die for! I can’t believe I they took my reservation when I called last week! Joe was telling me that Sales calls this ‘the world’s most exclusive club.’ They’re famous for taking their time with every meal, sweating the details, making sure they get it right. They even have two chefs, who take turns at leadership. They’re famous for how well they work together to create culinary masterpieces.” “It sounds wonderful, Brad. What did you say it was called?” “It’s The Senate, Barbara, and it’s right up here on the right.” Brad pulls up to the front of a building that exudes faded elegance. On the front are the words “The Senate,” but Brad notices with shock that the letters are actually shadows left over from the removal of sculptured lettering. The valet also seems to be absent, but the lights are on and Brad can see people inside, so they park themselves. A big shock awaits them inside, though! Gone are the tasteful appointments, the string quartet, and the tuxedoed wait staff. The lights are bright, the place is noisy, and, worst of all, the fine dining has been replaced by a cafeteria-style buffet! “What’s this!’” exclaimed Brad to a bored-looking cashier at the entrance. “Is The Senate closed?” “Nope, this is it, Hon. We made some improvements, is all.” “You call these improvements! How could Bill and Harry go along with this?” “Yeah, well Bill and Harry are feuding, so we had to find a way to keep the doors open. We call it the new clear up and down option. We cleared out some space so people can just walk straight up so we can plop down their grub. We specialize in popular favorites, the stuff people tell us they want. No more of this artsy fartsy trying to tell people what they should like. Take tonight’s special: macaroni and cheese, pot roast, and succotash. Stick to your ribs cookin’! Most people, they get what they’re hungry for fast, they leave stuffed and happy, and tomorrow they’re back for more.” “Look, if I wanted something like that I’d just go to the House of Pancakes.” “Look, Hon, there ain’t nothing wrong with the House. They’ve been serving straight up and down grub since day one. They pay attention to what people want and are only too happy to give it to them. It’s about time the snooty Senate woke up and smelled the Folgers, if you ask me!”
05.18.05 @ 08:14 PM EDT [link]