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06/20/2005: "Memo from Bernie"

As has been widely reported, Governor Jeb Bush of Florida recently requested an investigation into a particular detail of the Schiavo case, a case otherwise closed (after fifteen years and 21 separate legal actions) by the medical examiner’s report. Gov Bush requested this investigation of Bernie McCabe, State Attorney of Pinellas County (a Republican), who agreed to pursue it. As a public service, SherWright offers the text from McCabe’s memo in reply to Gov Bush’s request: “Dear Jeb: Great to hear from you! How long has it been, six months from the last Party get-together? I certainly enjoyed kicking around some ideas on the Schiavo case with you back then, and I am indeed delighted to be picking up the torch on the whole enchilada! Not that there aren’t some hefty challenges here. There’s already been some grousing from the investigators I pulled to work on this, something about “going after real criminals.” As if there could be a higher priority to keeping Schiavo “alive,” so to speak! I know you caught a lot of flak from Important Citizens because St. Pete PD wimped out on rolling her out before they could pull the plug. Don’t think for a second that this Office will let you down like that! Here’s the scenario I’ve got the boys working on. The perpetrator wakes up at 4:30 AM, just like he told Larry King. He sees his wife on the floor, and decides that this is the perfect opportunity to check out how green the grass is on the other side of the hill, if you catch my meaning. He lounges around waiting to call 911 until she’s expired. In court we’ll paint a word picture of him pulling up a chair beside her so he can watch in comfort. Maybe putting on a DVD. Oops, just realized they didn’t have DVDs in 1990. OK, maybe he turns on those early morning exercise babes. I’ll have the boys make sure they were on back then. Anyway, an hour and a half goes by and he starts to get nervous. He decides it would look better if she expires in the ambulance rather than the house. So he calls 911, but you know what they say about criminals – they always slip up! Hubby’s slipup was blurting out the truth about getting up “about 4:30,” after saying “5:00” on the stand and with 911 records clearly showing it was 5:40. Of course, he tried to cover his tracks with the lame excuses that he “didn’t have a watch on” and “wasn’t good with times.” But it looks like we have a clear shot at a perjury indictment, as long as we end up with enough members of the grand jury that are still hot over the whole episode. Of course, a conviction is unlikely – the odds are too great that we’ll end up with a closet liberal on the jury, even here in Pinellas. No matter, though. As you pointed out when we talked earlier this week, you’ll have generated enough payback for the base to be happy with you again, just in time for the 2008 fundraising kickoff. Anyway, it’s my pleasure to help out on this critical Party issue, and I guarantee you’ll be glad you did! Give my love to Columba and the kids (especially little Jebbie), and see you next month at the Party Barbecue. All the Best, Bernie