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11/30/2004: "How to Talk to a Dittohead about Moral Values"

Talking about Morality is where you most need to remember Ann Coulter’s advice in her new book How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): “don't be defensive.” The temptation is clear – Dittoheads have such confidence in the moral superiority of their positions that their smugness can be intimidating. Take a lesson from the classic book on giving a presentation, “I see You Naked.” The thesis of this indispensable reference for public speakers is that if you can imagine your audience in their underwear, you won’t be intimidated by them. You can apply this idea to holiday conversations with Dittohead family members by remembering that Dittohead positions are, at their core, not based on morality but instead on naked greed and lust for power. This blog has allocated a substantial word count making this argument, but don’t try to play back these arguments at length. You’ll just lose them, poor dears. Instead, go right to the core of the issue: the glaring core of immorality in Dittohead fiscal policy. Fiscal policy – money – is where the rubber meets the road for any belief system. It’s fine to talk about attitudes and intentions, but money is where someone’s mouth really is. To quote the Good Book, “where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” The most apparent, tangible manifestation of Dittohead fiscal policy is massive, insane levels of borrowing. Not even a Dittohead can deny that most of the “pain” of a national debt north of $7 Trillion will be borne by those not of voting age when it was run up. It’s future generations that will get to pony up at least four years worth of extra taxes to pay off our borrowing, and that doesn’t count interest. Dittoheads sure don’t plan to have any role in paying it back! The national debt run up during Dittohead administrations thus represents what a Karate sensei calls a pressure point, a place to punch and kick with maximum force. Don’t hold back! They wouldn’t if the situation was reversed and you were trying to defend a blatantly corrupt policy. And there are so many ways you can stick the knife into debt immorality! Here’s an angle: “Deficits as a colossal heist that make the Sopranos’ biggest score look like the morning take from a schoolyard lunch money scam.” If they go into denial, pursue relentlessly! Keep repeating the following phrase: “Look, just explain where I’m wrong on this.” Before you know it they’ll be changing the subject, the closest thing to an admission of defeat you’ll ever get from them. Savor the triumph!