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11/16/2004: "Sic �em, Eliot!"

Maybe the GOP�s branding operation needs the Spitzer treatment. All this activity by NYC�s Crusading District Attorney Eliot Spitzer has got me thinking. (I�m beginning to think that if you look up �crusading� in the dictionary you�ll see Spitzer�s picture there, considering that he�s got entire industries quivering in terror!) I�ve been wondering whether there is a Spitzersque �truth in labeling� issue with the term �Republican.� What does Republican mean, actually? That they believe the US is a republic as opposed to a democracy, as Dittoheads I have crossed swords with in the net insist is a big deal? Sounds like something worth Googling. In the meantime, maybe we could divert ourselves with fun names to replace �Republican.� As we�ve all hopefully seen from SPW�s Great Work (myself included), if something is funny it�s because there is a core of truth there. So what does the Republican Party stand for that would produce a funny name with a core of truth? Let�s start with the core of truth part, even if we have to do unfunny for a little bit. I�ve already done some blogs on what the party really stands for (remember half-fascist? If you don�t, you should look for the term on the blog�s search facility, repeating it to yourself until you get it!). One of the funnier names for the Republican Party is �conservative,� since the crowd running Abe�s old party is anything but! Not funny enough, though. If it is funny, it�s funny boo-hoo rather than funny ha-ha! How about this: the policies of today�s GOP all boil down to things that increase short-term fun at the expense of long-term burdens on society. There are so many examples. Huge blocks of the Government (for example, the world�s biggest military spending) are paid for with borrowing. Denial of environmental and ecological warning signs in favor of making a quick buck. Military adventures that bring to mind the contests of gladiators in the old Roman Colloseum and that citizens seem to find equally as engaging. Head in the sand proposals to �deal with� the looming locomotive of baby boomer retirement, proposals that serve only to pander votes at the expense of fiscal reality. I know, you�re thinking �are we funny yet!?� Almost. Everything we�ve talked about falls into the bucket called �non-sustainability.� And what is a great real-life example of non-sustainability? A wild party! You have lots of fun, wear a lampshade, maybe get lucky, and then�the morning. So here is my suggestion for the �truth in advertising� name the Republicans should adopt: the Party Party!