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Sher's Blog Archive Hits This is What Treason Really Looks Like, Ann White House Prayer Meetings as a Substitute for Ethical Behavior This Ain't Your Grandma's Party! Sher's Ratios: Sex to Scandal and Mischief to Money Fourth Grade Economics Midterm My Pitch to the Club for Growth
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S Saber Rattling A form of Diplomacy. When the saber comes out, it’s diplomacy by “other means” (our favorite form!) Sacrifice 1. Giving up something you care about. It’s an admirable quality, but not our cup of tea. We’ll offer suggestions for others, though. 2. A traditional concern of national Leaders, who in the past sacrificed goats and later slaves as insurance against Catastrophe. Our Moral Evolution has been such that we now sacrifice soldiers, who give their Lives so that Voters can sacrifice less (see Tax Cuts). Saddam The major figure behind the Hijacking that almost destroyed the Pentagon. We’re talking of course about the Election of Clinton. Saddam's hanging is poetic Justice (and delicious Payback) for the embarrassment he caused Dad by hanging in after Desert Storm. The bad things Saddam did made Invasion an easier sell, but the clincher was his being the same Religion as those 9/11 guys. Safeguard 1. (Archaic) a limit on exercise of executive Power. 2. (Our-chaic) Locking up the Secret details of our illegal activities in safes and posting guards. Not to mention investigating the Whistleblowers!
Same Old Same Old The Right kind of speech to give when the nation is looking for Leadership in troubled times.
Sanctuary City A place that Dittoheads (like Mitt) deride as havens for amnesty-lovers and their former mayors (like Rudy). In such places, people can go about their business without having their papers constantly checked by authorities. One of these places was once called “The United States of America.” Sand Handy head storage when Reality (e.g., the requirement to Pay back Borrowed Money) is not sufficiently attractive. Santa Claus A mythical figure whose life’s work is giving to Children. He apparently hasn’t figured out that taking from them works a lot better (see Debt). Save the Whales That tired old Environmentalist tune. Bush, recognizing that these Majestic Beasts would enjoy Techno-Electronica, is trying (via Navy sonar) a more modern approach: “rave the whales.” Savor The feeling that makes you show giddy excitement, for example the look on Bush’s Face during his last “Cooperation” State of the Union speech when using the phrase "I Will Veto." Schizoid A psychological love-hate condition, like when the GOP hates the thought of wasting opportunities for Pork on non-Voter Immigrants even while loving Profits from immigrant-style wage levels. Closely related to the psychological condition "Hypocrisy." Science See Creationism. The highly efficient process by which Conservatives demonstrate that supernatural explanations for the physical nature of the universe are just so much better than those of Atheist Scientists. Conservative explanations for natural processes are much easier to understand, and there’s no waste of money on equipment, field research, or university degrees. Scientist An Atheist who employs mumbo-jumbo and doubletalk in a futile attempt to confuse Conservatives about Science. Scooter A label based on the word for scampering out of harm’s way, for example a cockroach scooting away when the lights get turned on. Screening A precaution against deadly diseases like Cancer that McCain Voted against. It’s not a proper Target of Government Spending, since Preventing Death is not a Military Mission. Quite the contrary! Second Amendment The Constitutional Right for any American to take out as many of his fellow Citizens as he can manage (and with modern Weapons he can manage a lot!) for whatever reason - or no particular reason - as long as he includes himself in the Body Count (see Suicide Bomber). Secret Something very much like the Facts we send to Conservative Columnists. The only difference is that secrets are actually True. Secret Plan The compelling vision for Victory in Viet Nam that Nixon presented while running for President, declining to explain how these Results would be actually be achieved. It’s different from McCain’s vision for victory in Iraq, even though he’s also declining to provide details, because his overall Strategy is no Secret (see Stay the Course). Secular Humanism The Liberal agenda of mandatory Atheism based on their bizarre reading of the Constitution. Fortunately, it’s only a matter of time before the Supreme Court determines that the Founding Fathers really meant Religious Godism. Security 1. Ensuring that evildoers do not impede essential Government operations (i.e. Reelection). 2. An important national priority. We’d definitely do something about it if we didn’t need the Money for Tax Cuts. 3. Ensuring that nobody gets into our rallies wearing anti-War underwear. Segregation The Educational system that naturally Evolves in the absence of Government involvement (considering it was dominant until the Supreme Court made it illegal). The Supreme Court is now poised to make action against segregation illegal, so it’s only a matter of time until we’re back to the natural order of things (every Conservative’s aspiration). Semantics The core of GOP Political Science. If your Policy isn’t popular with Voters (see Stay the Course), you just find another word for it. It’s a lot easier than actually changing what you’re doing. Seniors Older Americans who are natural Conservatives. They gravitate towards Politicians who trumpet the importance of Values. Thank God for senility! Sense of the Congress When it’s an anti-Surge resolution, we spell it cents. Separation of Church and State The factor that has made America the most Christian nation on Earth. Let’s quit while we’re ahead! Set Aside our Differences Liberals stopping their acting like Nazi Appeasers. Seven Deadly Sins We’re not sure exactly what they are, but anything sinful could only apply to Democrats. Sham Ad A type of Negative advertisement that allows us to use unlimited undisclosed funds because we Lie about advocating an Issue rather than a Candidate. It’s a Natural edge for Conservatives, because People expect lying Trash Talk from us (see Swift Boat). Shame The word sounds familiar. Could you give us a hint? Share The portion of the nation’s wealth that workers have. It’s tanked since Bush has been President. At the same time, the investor class is rolling in Money. The Moral is: if you want a share, buy shares! Sharia A system of Government where Justice is based on the Koran. It’s clearly a bad idea. Everyone knows the Ten Commandments are the only proper source for Law! S**t A Bush specialty, whether related to justification for Invasion (bulls**t), testimony to Congress (horses**t), or Results from each and every Bu** Program (dogs**t). Shoot Something we enjoy, particularly when, like Cheney, we had other priorities when there was Military shooting going on. Maybe shooting his buddy wasn’t the best way to make up for lost time, but at least he didn’t (like we usually do) shoot himself in the foot! Shooter A natural "upshot" of the two fundamental principles of Liberty: the Right to Bear Arms and to pursue happiness. Shot A thoughtful observation by a Conservative concerning a Liberal action, policy, position, opinion, pronouncement, or politician. Shot in the Arm The Stimulus Bush wants to deliver to the Economy. This would be better News had he not already Expended all his Shots (see Tax Cuts, and - speaking of Political Capital being expended because of Shooting - see Iraq Low Polls). Shovel An implement issued to the Military in Iraq to win Hearts and Minds by planting Trees and Flowers. And they are being used, albeit mostly for planting beside Dead Iraqis not caught planting IEDs. Show Group entertainment. Our favorite is the Gun show, because of the happiness it “Triggers” in the Base, who then "show" us the Money. Showdown A Conservative legislating technique. We show Contributors that we are as Extreme as they are and they put down their Money. Signature A convention used to demonstrate Respect by showing that the writer was willing to devote five seconds to a letter. Employed only by bleeding-heart Liberals, who clearly have too much time on their hands. Signing Statement A Strategy Bush uses when signing laws. It’s the Legal equivalent of crossing his fingers behind his back. Sign of the Cross The Church of Conservatism’s gesture of devotion to Truth, practiced when we cross our fingers behind our back when we sign laws (see Signing Statement). Silence Like the saying goes, it’s golden. Since we’re always willing to go the extra mile for gold (see Campaign Contributions), we don’t mind a little Commute (see Scooter). Similar Things or People that have so many characteristics in common that they might as well be twins like (as McCain has pointed out) Britney and Barack. Simplistic A way of looking at things that is Nuance Free. Our motto is “keep it simplistic, stupid!” Sin Behavior banned in the Ten Commandments, for example Homosexuality. What’s that you say? Not a commandment? OK, then what about “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s ass.” Sins Transgressions that generate consequences that are “visited on the sons.” Fortunately, given how Religious we are, Posterity’s got nothing to worry about. Sitting President A traditional figure of Respect (see Abe), unless he's made a Mess, in which case he’s more like a sitting duck (see Bush). 666 The mark of Satan, based on the number of letters in Librul. Slander 1. Anything a Liberal says. Why do you think the words…hmm... 2. Wait! When you take "bral" out of Liberal you get "Lie." Ha! Slanted News that does not reinforce the Conservative point of view. Other synonyms include “biased” and “Liberal.” Slavery According to Bush judgeship Nominee Janice Rogers Brown, the inevitable outcome of Liberalism. This is why, for example, slave-owners were all card-carrying members of the ACLU. Sleep Management A euphemism for Torture via Sleep Deprivation. For McCain that’s having to stay up beyond 8:30. Sleeping Well The sleep of the Just, because they don’t make Mistakes. Slime The origin from which Life Evolved, if you Believe Scientists (which we don’t). For anyone who has seen a GOP Political Campaign, the Facts contradicting evolution beyond slime are Clear! Slippery Slope An important consideration in negotiation strategy. It means we can only afford to Compromise if we don’t have to give an inch. Sloth An important Conservative value. If wealthy Campaign Contributors weren’t too lazy to do their taxes they wouldn’t give us all those Campaign Contributions to keep the IRS off their back. Sluurrrp Conservative stewardship of the Nation’s Petroleum and mineral Legacy. Short for Subsidies to Liquidate Useful Underground Resources Recklessly Reserved for Posterity. Smirk A kind of knowing smile, specifically the kind where you know you’re Right and everyone else is Wrong. That’s why Bush lets his smirk be his umbrella on these rainy, rainy days (see Low Polls). Snapshot Our new word for the Fall report on the Surge, since they’re easier to photoshop. Snooping It’s how we gain Intelligence. If our IQs drop in the process - well, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Snow 1. Bush’s Secretary of the Treasury, the point man in Administration claims that Deficits are needed for Jobs and don’t Matter anyway. 2. A colloquial term meaning “deceiving the gullible” (as in "snow job"), particularly as related to appeals to Greed (see Con). Snowflake The argument that all frozen embryos could be adopted, so they shouldn’t be available for Stem Cell Research. Why that name? Well, they’re frozen like Snow, and even we have to admit it’s a pretty flaky idea! Soccer Mom A suburban swing voter who is inclined to support Conservative positions (see Tax Cuts) but with vague memories from childhood of archaic meanings of Morality. Social Experiment The primary arena of Liberal Failure. You won’t catch the GOP behind failed social experimentation! That's because our social experiments always succeed, as we’re demonstrating in Iraq and New Orleans. Social Policy See Prison. Social Security 1. An indispensable Government program. The surpluses it now generates make the Deficit look much smaller than it really is (see Tax Cuts). Also, it gives Posterity the privilege of demonstrating their love for us twice, by paying for our retirement and also by redeeming the Social Security Trust Fund Bonds the surplus was "invested" in. 2. See Waste, Fraud, and Abuse. Solution Selection of the proper Warhead. Sources People that give us the Intelligence we need to pick Targets for Bombing. There are two kinds: 1) Warlords 2) Citizens of the Foreign Country we invaded who bravely report their annoying neighbors and business competitors who are leading double lives as Terrorists. Space An infinitely large emptiness. The perfect place to put Money we’re borrowing on behalf of Posterity. Speaker The GOP congressional Leader, so named for his Responsibility for Talk. Because of Moral superiority, he speaks no Evil. Dennie goes the extra mile and hears and sees no evil either (see Page). Speech Something that should be absolutely Free. The Government has no business telling me what I can say! Of course, bad speech should be banned. Special Interest A term originating from the principle of finance that Money can grow. It applies when a special connection grows between those with money and those with connections. Spending An special focus of Discipline by the Bush Administration. By conscientiously Exploding Deficits via our Bold new spending initiatives, we considerately provide Incentives for Posterity to Starve the Beast. Spending Discipline An Immoral act meant to titillate onlookers. It's exactly like all the other forms of bondage and discipline, except that it doesn't involve Bonds (see Borrowing). Spin The tiresome explaining of Conservative policies to the simpleminded (i.e., Moderates). Our preference is “no-spin zones” where we can just say whatever pops into our heads. On the flip side, spin gets us more Votes. Besides, spin means never having to say you're sorry. Sportsmanship A key Conservative Value. For example. what could be more sporting than boxing with one arm tied behind your back, like how we Fight Deficits with only Spending cuts (of Liberal rather than GOP programs) and NEVER Tax Increases? Spouse An essential Political edge in these modern times. If you Hate hitting up fat cats (see McCain), a Rich spouse means you can blow them off while at the same time putting your opponents in an Tough position with your railing for Campaign finance Reform. Spread of Freedom See Invasion. Spring A season to put special emphasis on springing Forward (see Winning), along with summer, fall, and winter. Squeaker Our name for our Liberal opponent after we crush him with our sweeping 1% Election Mandate. Stability Not seeing the Results of your Foreign Policy on the front page of the Newspaper every day. For example, Afghanistan is now a model of stability. Stadium Seating 1. Stacked seating in movie theaters that allows audience tiers to see better. 2. Stacked seating in political Theater that allows Voters watching on Television to see tiers of better audiences. Better audiences are captive audiences, like those stacked Military faces behind Bush and Cheney speeches. Star Spangled Banner The song we endeavor to Live up to every day, particularly the part about Bombs bursting in air! Starve the Beast Another way of saying “cut Liberal Programs.” State A level of Government that should have complete Freedom (see States’ Rights) except when it shouldn’t (see Choice). State Law A second chance (after Federal Law) to end up with the Right policy. States' Rights kick in when states have things Right. Thanks to our Conservative Legislators, these laws will start following you Right over the Blue State border! State of the Union 1. “Strong.” 2. When it isn’t, see 1. States' Rights 1. A movement to do for social practices what museums do for antiques. 2. A Holy principle of Conservatism. The authority of States must be absolutely protected from Federal Power (unless they do something we don't agree with).
Statue of Liberty
We’ve done a bit of redaction to
the plaque at the base, to wit: “Keep ancient lands, your Status of Enemy Combatant 1. An exciting Conservative initiative to eliminate the bureaucracy of administering Social Policy. 2. (Archaic) Designation for German saboteurs landed in the US by submarine during WWII. Stay the Course What we need to do in Iraq, as Bush pointed out in his recent comparison to Viet Nam. The course for the latter War lasted 10,000 days, which leaves only 8,000 more to go (although if we want to Win this time it might take longer). Steam The tension that builds up in Conservatives when we are forced into unnatural situations like on-the-job interpersonal relations. Fortunately, we know how to find creative venues for release, the “joy in our employ.” Stem Cell Research A Conservative initiative for Offshoring a promising new area of Science, since Drugs from Foreign Countries are cheaper. Stewardship A key Value of the Church of Conservatism. It’s important that people focus on maintaining God-given blessings. It’s why we have stewards (and even better, stewardesses). Stimulus Government Action to make consumers Spend even when they don’t feel like it. It’s short for “a stick for the mule in us.” Stock Market A lottery with special Tax advantages, since the Money that wealthy Conservatives make is taxed at low capital gains rates. Stonewall The default Conservative communications strategy. It shows the proper Respect for the Media, by sparing them the embarrassment of our Denials should they happen on the Truth. Stop Loss A Strategy for Victory that Liberals imagine to be a Back Door Draft. The actual Plan will finally be unveiled with Straight Talk on President McCain’s Inauguration Day: his “Start Gain” Policy (see Conscription). Story 1. A work of Fiction. 2. Republican Talking points on how great everything has been going, as recently explained by the Speaker to Rush: “We have a story to tell, and the Democrats have put this thing forward (see Page) to try to block us from telling the story.” In other words, our story on Foley is that if Democrats had any Ethics they’d be Taking Responsibility for the Mess. Straight Talk Talk that goes straight from A to B, like A. McCain’s opposition to Bush’s Tax Cuts B. McCain’s Support for Bush’s Tax Cuts. Strategy 1. (Archaic) Legislation focused on action to make things better in the Future. 2. Legislation resulting in no action except Bashing future opponents. Stress Position Torture from being forced into contortions, like McCain trying to explain why he Voted against being against it. Strict Constructionism The Supreme Court doctrine of strictly interpreting the Constitution according to what will be most useful in constructing a Conservative Power base. String Something you pull to get things done. By that measure (see Corruption) the GOP is the world’s greatest string orchestra! Strip An Immoral act meant to titillate onlookers, like Democrats stripping from the Budget the Earmarks our lobbyists put so much Hard Work into. Stroll How McCain demonstrated that the Surge is Working, by taking a leisurely walk in Baghdad. Residents will be impressed just as soon as he is able to do it without the surrounding buzz of attack helicopters and armored cars. Strong Personality The kind of Leader that Bush says may be needed for Iraq to prevent Civil War. In other words, a Saddam that’s not the Saddam. Or maybe him too, if that’s what we need to declare Victory and get the hell out! Stuff 1. The end result of Biology. 2. What happens (particularly when you make Mistakes). Stupidity 1. Intentionally increasing spending on groups not providing Conservative Campaign Contributions. 2. (Archaic) Intentionally increasing spending on one’s self while income is declining. Subpoena 1. A Powerful weapon for Obligating testimony to find the Truth about a Clinton. 2. A powerful weapon for Politicizing the Truth that Bush's Prosecutors weren't fired for Political reasons. Sub-Prime At term that would be rendered in English as “just below the very best” but, as employed by Dittohead financiers (pardon the redundancy), actually means “crappy.” Subsidies The means by which Conservatives level the playing field for millionaire campaign contri...(oops!). For struggling American farmers being victimized by greedy Africans and Latin Americans. Success Anything that produces results that can be presented as positive, for example the phrase “our massive transfer of unearned wealth from future generations was a success because the economy has improved.” Successor The TBD Leader who will get to find the Solution to the Iraq Mess. Around the White House “successor” is usually abbreviated as “sucker.” Suicide Bomber A Terrorist who must be stopped by Whatever It Takes. He’s very different from a suicide Shooter (even if the Body Counts are the same) since the latter is merely exercising his Constitutional Right to Bear Arms. Suit An outfit, like the McCain suit that Rove has been wearing to Campaign events while the actual Candidate is apparently on Vacation (or maybe he’s been Kidnapped). Summer The Vacation season, when Voters pay less attention to how we’ve been doing. Thank God for the break! Super Bowl The sports equivalent of Reelection. For example, both football and Politics have Whistleblowers. Football has no Swift Boating, though. No wonder the games are usually boring! Superpower The natural result of American cultural superiority based on our ability and will, specifically our ability and will to Borrow enormous amounts of Money. This exploits a key weakness of Foreign Countries; they have to Pay for their Military with Taxes. Support the Troops A synonym for “Vote Republican” which, after six years of supportive GOP Presidential action, has taken the Military to a state of readiness not seen since Vietnam. Supreme Court The most perfect branch of our Democracy (whose members, appointed for Life, have the Power to overrule Liberal slipups by the elected branches of Government – and even Election slipups, for that matter!) Presently consists of two Justices (Scalia and Thomas) and a number of Liberal associates. (OK, maybe Rehnquist isn’t a complete Liberal, but he has voted against the Justices once or twice. You don’t think that the others are all Liberals? Hey, they signed onto the Homosexual agenda, didn’t they?) Fortunately, Campaign Strategy will eventually return the Court to its full nine-man complement of Justices. Surcharge How President Johnson paid for his Viet Nam Surge (think of it as a surge-charge). “Surcharge” is an obscure word in Dittohead, considering it involves (gasp!) a Tax Increase. Bush, being a student of History, won’t be repeating that Mistake! And why should he, when we can Borrow from China and have Posterity do the Paying. Surge A proven Military Strategy for Victory, like when President Johnson surged troops in Viet Nam in the mid-Sixties. It worked, too! He was able to Keep the Ball rolling for a whole other Decade. Surplus 1. A gross fiscal aberration. It means that (steel yourself!) Taxes are higher than needed to Pay Government’s day to day bills! While at some point someone’s going to have to run a surplus of $10 Trillion to pay for our Debt and Interest, we won’t let this Immoral act occur in our lifetime! 2. The target of Bush’s most successful Military initiative. In contrast to Bush’s other Wars, his War on Surplus has produced truly impressive Results, most notably a swing in the nation’s annual fiscal standing from $6.6 Trillion in the black to $2.2 trillion in the red. Just think how hungry the Beast’s gonna be when (after his term is over) Foreign Countries finally get tired of carrying our big pile of Debt! Surprise Visit Bush’s favorite way to make an Assessment of developments in Iraq (for example his Surge Strategy). The Results of these assessments are no surprise. Surrender The obvious Liberal fallacy that we can leave Iraq before every Muslim in the Country Loves America. Sustainable 1. Promoting continued viability of American Ideals, by Sustaining the Life, Liberty, and happiness of Bush Administration Cronies (see Base). Accomplished via sustaining Power. 2. (Archaic) Promoting continued viability of American ideals, by sustaining Life on Earth, Civil Liberties, and the general Welfare. Accomplished via wise Stewardship. SUV An acronym for "Screw U Vehicle." Wealthy drivers look down on everyone else, always come out best in "encounters" with others, and drink far into Posterity's share of Petroleum. In other words, the perfect Conservative conveyance! Swamp The name we prefer to the PC word “wetland.” Think how stupid it would sound to say “we were wetlanded with Money from our Fundraiser.” Swarm A horde of voracious devourers intent on consuming the bounty created over entire generations. We owe it to our Forefathers, who risked all to come to this country to Work night and day to build the wealth we’re Inheriting, not to let it all be eaten up by Immigrants. Swift Boat A strategy for dealing with Enemies. It’s a lot like railroading, except the ride’s not nearly as comfortable! Swift Boat Veterans A group that is entirely enthusiastic about our Iraq Adventure (even though they’re calling up old guys). Of course, you don’t need boats in a Desert! |
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